Mom Quotes I Never Meant To Say, Amazon Prints & Amazon GiftCard Giveaways

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Over the years, I’ve captured many memories of my children I want to preserve, including some of those “This will probably be funny in a few years” moments.  When I became a parent, I never realized how much of a sense of humor I would need!  Here are some actual quotes I’ve said to my children that I never thought I would have to say.

Things I never Thought I would Say before parenting
Thanks to Amazon for sponsoring this post and providing prizes for the giveaway!

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1. “Stop barking and chasing cars right this instant!”
(After hearing barking and walking around the house to the front yard, only to find my daughter and her best friend.)

The Car Chasing Culprits.
The Car Chasing Culprits.

2.If you try to hug that groundhog, I am not taking you to the doctor for a rabies shot.”  (This one, said to my son, is pretty self-explanatory.)

Making snow out of styrofoam.
Making snow out of styrofoam.

3.  “I know you didn’t mean to, but you set the trash can on fire.”  (After my son tried to help clean the yard by placing a pile of smoldering leaves in the trash.)

Torturing my children through field trips.
Torturing my children through field trips.

4.  “Someday I hope you have a child just like you.” (To my daughter after one of her exasperating moments. Funny enough, she did. Karma strikes again.  Strangely, I think the baby is perfect.)

Embarrassing my daughter by being there on a college tour of Emory university.
Embarrassing my daughter by being there on a college tour of Emory University.

5. “There are no snacks in the trash can!” (After hearing rustling noises and seeing the baby attempting to dig through the trash, although she has an apple and banana cut up and sitting within her reach.)

The perfect baby.
The perfect baby.

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What is the funniest thing you’ve ever said to your child?

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42 Comments

  1. Love this and the links on the side of the page make it easy to find what I’m looking for.

  2. What funny quotes these are! I have also said some super funny things to my kids.

  3. Oh my gosh, I know what you mean. The things I tell my kids to stop doing are just crazy sometimes.

  4. I laughed hard with this post! It reminded me of my mom! Amazon is a superb place indeed!

  5. Amazon is the best. This is the best post ever – real life. Parenting is rough and wonderful at the same time.

  6. Our Family World

    Thank you for the good laugh today. When my daughter was young, she had a knack of swallowing seeds of fruit. I said, that if she keeps up with the habit, she will start growing branches that will come out of her ears, her nose, her mouth. After I noticed how she shunned fruit after that, I realized how stupid I was to have made her believe what I said!

  7. These are so funny! I have said quite a few things in my years that I never thought I would say as a parent either.

  8. Sometimes if my kids do something crazy and something nuts comes out of my mouth, I just stare before continuing. Boy, does it sure take the seriousness out of what I’m saying.

  9. Oh, this is just an adorable post. I haven’t thought about writing down the things I accidentally say.

  10. ha! Sometimes as parents, things comes out of our mouths that are just as funny as our kids. Kids will make us say the craziest things!

  11. There are SO many I could list. Probably an embarrassing amount actually. Lol, too funny. The life of a mom!

  12. We love Amazon and have had the Amazon Prime membership for years! I didn’t know they had a photo printing service!

  13. This is hilarious! my little one is only 8 months old but I can see these phrases coming out in the future!

  14. Sometimes we say things that we think make sense but actually they do not make any sense at all. I remember being so pre-occupied with tax filing when my teen-aged son approached me and said “Mom, where’s the hammer?” My reply – “Yes.” My son must have thought I was the weirdest parent any one could ever have.

  15. Annemarie LeBlanc

    The funniest thing I ever said to my kid? It is this – “Why are you so filthy? Look at your hands! Oh my goodness! Look at your nape! Did you hear what I just said? I said, LOOK AT YOUR NAPE!” Well, of course, my son could not do that unless he is a contortionist. hahaha.

  16. Amazon prime photo is an excellent service. We absolutely love it and find it so useful to organize our pictures.

  17. These are indeed funny quotes. I remember saying to my son ” Get off the floor and stop eating the dog food it is for the dog.”. Thanks for sharing the quotes.

  18. AMazing is brilliant for this! What do they not do? I didnt know they sold prints too thats awesome!

  19. WOW! When did this happen, how did I not know this!

  20. Isn’t Amazon Prime just the best?! I love these, they are so funny haha!! Just a great read! 🙂 My mom would definitely laugh at this!

  21. Those sound like classics lol. It’s amusing some of the things that come out of our mouths once we are parents. I didn’t know Amazon offered prints, but will be sure to check them out soon!

  22. This is just so funny and something that all moms can relate to. This is the hilarious side of parenting! And sometimes you’ll sit back and remember these lines and just laugh by yourself. LOL.

  23. Kids! Lol. I have a list full of those things as well. I don’t get why they have to be so gross sometimes, with the dirt and all. Ah well. It’s funny but we do say those things.

  24. You will never know how to be a parent until you become one! It’s a learning experience. I love those prints.

  25. kellyhutchinson37920

    I really need to look into this. I have so many photos on my computer than need to get printed.

  26. I love Amazon Prime! I had no idea they did prints! Must try this!

  27. What a cute post! And I love this opportunity from Amazon. I had no idea of this service, thanks!

  28. This is a great convenient solution for all those digital prints sitting on my phone. This sounds like such an easy and affordable service too.

  29. Haha, there are so many strange situations kids can put you in. It’s good to document those memories though!

  30. I can’t think of any of them now, but there are quite a few things I’ve said to my kids that I know people would look at me funny. And I have to check out Amazon prints.

  31. I don’t have children, but I am an Aunt and Godmother – I won’t say which one, but I did have to tell a very young niece “You are NOT getting that Bikini” and her reply “Aw Nuts I thought you were the cool/fun Aunt, I want to wear it to show my boyfriend” to which I replied “I am cool, so cool in fact that if your mother lets you have it – both a bikini and a boyfriend then so be it, but you are NOT buying that Bikini with me and you are way too young for a boyfriend!”

  32. Haha it is so true, you always say I’m never going to say such things when your a kid, then you grow up and out they pop!

  33. Oh gosh, kids say the darnedest things! I can’t believe he put smoldering leaves in a trash can. FAIL!, lol!

  34. Catherine Sargent

    I love all of the pictures. I will have to check out Amazon prints, I didn’t know Amazon had this.

  35. He cracks me up how much we fight not to be a parent and yet you find yourselves talking and acting just like him. I like some of your quotes they crack me up.

  36. The things we say as parents. But really, we only say those things because our kids are so good at doing the craziest stuff. I mean, CRAZY stuff.

  37. OMG, these are the best! Parenthood is the best way to produce funny quotes. I mean, they’re all instant classics coming out of our mouths!

  38. Too funny! I especially loved the ““If you try to hug that groundhog, I am not taking you to the doctor for a rabies shot” . I’m STILL laughing at that because I can totally relate. We saw a family of beavers and my kid insisted on trying to catch it. Ugh, Thanks for the giveaway I just signed up for Amazon prints.

  39. I love Amazon and all of the features for Prime Members! I’m so excited about Amazon Prints now! And this is a great giveaway!

  40. I love Amazon and have been a prime member for years. I didn’t know they now had Amazon Prints! I need to rush right over and check it out. Great giveaway too!

  41. The weirdest thing I ever said to my kids was said to my youngest when he was just under 2. “Did you just eat a rock??”. He did.