This conversation is sponsored by the Mrs. Band, but all opinions are my own.
“I have always felt so guilty,” I confessed to one of my friends, “what if I caused my son’s learning problems?” During my pregnancy I had suffered health problem after health problem, cumulating with some experimental medication I was on for 24 hours. When my son was diagnosed with dysgraphia, my guilt intensified. Perhaps the medication could have caused it? “You can’t feel that way,” my friend assured me. “You are a good mom. Look at all the things you have done to help him!”
As a mom, daughter and wife, there have been many times when I felt overwhelmed. I’m an only child and take care of my elderly father who I sometimes feel thinks his job is to be stubborn enough to make my life more difficult. I have a daughter who has a rare genetic disease and has to be taken to a host of different doctors on a regular basis. I homeschool my son. And my to-do list? It’s a mile long, filled with things I plan to do but never have time. It’s easy to beat myself up, thinking, “I should clean the garage. I should cook more complicated meals. I need to mow the lawn. Why don’t I have time to get all this done?”
This is why I can totally relate to The Mrs. Band who will be releasing their debut EP this fall. Although the music may sound like what’s being played on pop radio right now, the lyrics tell a different story. As women in their late thirties/early forties, songs about teenage heartbreak and wild nights clubbing weren’t things they could relate to. They decided to write about their own lives – like the challenge of juggling a career, marriage, motherhood and friendships, while still trying to maintain their own identity. They set out to foster a connection through their music with other women at the same place in their lives. The Mrs. is comprised of drummer Andra Liemandt, lead vocalists/guitarists Mandy Prater and Jennifer Zavaleta, vocalist/keyboardist Larissa Ness, and bassist Jenny Mason.
What’s their message? It’s #imEnough. I’m a good enough mom, daughter and wife. I may not get everything done around my home, it may not always be spotless. We may have to have speedy dinners or takeout sometimes. I’m not perfect. Guess what? That’s okay because I am enough. Do I have to repeat this mantra to myself? Yes. Do I still feel guilty sometimes? Yes. But I am enough to take care of my family. I am enough to get it all done; even if it takes ten years.
Do you have trouble believing you are enough sometimes? What is your go to mantra to help cope?
I loved being a part of this campaign! It is such a great way to remind ourselves that we ARE enough, we do enough, we work enough, we love enough and we are good enough. xoxo
It is very easy to get overwhelmed and allow it to consume us – I like to have a good balance of things in my life, that always keeps me from feeling too overwhelmed. Recently, I had to do some changes in my world to get that balance back! Kudos to you for doing all you do, remember you need to be taken care of too <3
Yes- I think everyone does to some extent. I feel that way about my fertility issues. I feel horrible that we are unable to conceive and that it is my fault. I should be able to give my husband children. We are working on it and will be parents one way or another.
I totally have moments I feel overwhelmed. I try to find me time somewhere – even if it’s going to the gym. It helps me refocus.
I’ve never heard of this campaign, but I love it. Much too often us moms feel like we’re not enough. But we are!
A necessary reminder for so many of us. Why do we constantly belittle ourselves into thinking we are failing at everything?
I feel this way sometimes too. When I do I take a moment to myself and tell myself that I am enough 🙂
I can totally relate to this. Great post!
I only feel like this daily. I think it comes with the territory.
Yes, sometimes I wonder if I’m enough when I’m taking care of my kids. it’s exhausting, so hard, and can be overwhelming. But I know I’m doing my best and they are happy and healthy!
I loved having the room drop stickers on my mirror at BlogHer from The Mrs. They were a great reminder that I am enough.
This is a good message that we all should accept. By the way, I love the photo.
What a beautiful post! i love it. Its so true, thank you for sharing and I love your outlook on this.
I think us women tend to be extra hard on ourselves sometimes. Yes, I often wonder if I am “enough”, and often, the answer is yes. My husband will always tell me “You are not Super Woman”, and he’s right. There’s only so much we can do.
How great! I love how they don’t sing about things that have been overdone time and time again! They look and sound fabulous!
To help myself with the stress of being a mom, I tell myself there is only so much I can do. It sounds like you are a great mom.
I’m a good enough mother is a message I was told last year and have taken it to heart since. I do my best and that’s the best I can do.
Sometimes, a lot less now that I am older. But, we all have those moments.
I think we all feel this way at least once in our life. We need to remember we ARE enough though.
I love the messaging. it’s wonderful be accepted as you are
Yep- I understand how you feel. My daughter has Aspergers Syndrome or HFA. I questioned if any of it was my fault. You just have to let it go and be their #1 supporter and advocate!
I love how inspiration the Mrs. Band is. Thanks for this great post.
I think its a natural reaction to blame ourselves. I have to constantly tell myself that I am enough and even if I did not finish everything on that days to do list, what I did was enough.
I think that is so awesome! As women we just need to remember that we are doing the best we can.
I absolutely love their video! It’s hard to remember that we are doing our best and we are enough when we’re overwhelmed.
Yes, I sometimes feel like a I not good enough at blogging, at being a mom, at being a wife…..probably because I’m spread in so many directions and can only give a certain percentage of myself to one thing at a given time. I need more hours in the day!
I think this feeling of not being enough is something that everyone can relate to. We deal with this as wives, moms, daughters, sisters, etc – but we are only human and we can only do so much!
It’s normal I think all moms feel this way. It definitely passes!
That is a great manta to ascribe to. You’re right, you, me, and every other mom can use it too. We are enough. 🙂
Great message. I think all of us feel like we are not enough at some point. On those days I just try to push through and remind myself that it will be better soon. Well, that, and, if I’m being honest, maybe have a cocktail or two 🙂
I can relate to you on many levels. When my daughter was born with congenital heart defects I blamed myself. I don’t think there are never enough hours in a day for busy moms.
I don’t think I ever feel guilty per say. I do get frustrated that there aren’t more of me to do everything I need to do LOL
I dont think I ever have time enough to feel my self guilty. I was starting to have some me time when my husband knocked me up again
I’m enough seems like it should be an affirmation to repeat every morning. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves.
What a refreshing and inspirational band. This world is far from perfect and as long as we’re giving it our all, we shouldn’t feel guilty. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
More often than not. I have clinical depression and the feelings of worthlessness can get so overwhelming at times, especially if I dwell on the effect it might have on our daughter. I totally cried at BlogHer ’14 when they showed a touching video before their performance of this song.
That’s just kinda part of parenting. I’m always questioning everything I do and every decision I make. I comes with the territory.
I constantly worry about trying to do it all and I can never quite do it. I think that it is ok to say no and let go of some things if you just cannot do them.
I love that message. There have been many times where I didn’t believe in myself and thought that I was not good enough. I found my strength from several places…in friends, in family and in music like that above.
As a mom I think there is a lot of pressure to be a super mom. You sound like an amazing mom for your son!
I just saw them perform the song “I’m Enough” at BlogHer and their video about it with the mirror made me cry! I love the message (and the song)! <3
I, too, feel like sometimes I can do more in regards to my life. Work more, spend more time with friends and family, being a better girlfriend, etc etc etc but those thoughts bring me down and I have to remember I’m doing what I can and I’m on the right path!
What a great message. None of us can do it all and it’s easy to feel less when we try.
Everyone has time when they feel they aren’t enough or that they don’t do enough. I know I feel that way constantly. You just have to take each day at a time and do the best you can.
We are all enough and when we doubt that we just need to repeat I am enough over and over until we believe it again.
I am enough.
I have enough.
I do enough.
When I first heard that I cried.
Mitch
This is great, I think everyone needs to read this and be reminded!!! Great great great post! Love the picture too :-)!
It’s totally natural for all women to feel like they never do enough! It’s important to look at those around you and realize that you’re enough for them.
That’s a powerful message and something we all need to be reminded of from time to time.
Guilt is such a useless emotion because the truth is that we do the very best we can. Your medication and your son’s learning problems could not be related in the least. You do have a full plate so just be good to yourself.
You are such an awesome mom! You do so much for everyone around you. You shouldn’t doubt how awesome you are because you are one of the best moms out there!
I think we all have times when we feel we are not enough – at least I do. Anytime I get down on myself – I ask the kids and they agree I am their Best Mom and Best Nana! LIfe doesn’t get much better than that!
You are the BEST mom your family could have asked for.. don’t feel guilty, you always do the best you can and that’s all you can do… There is always a reason for everything but not because you aren’t giving it all.. you are giving ALL you can give… You are an amazing Mom,Women and Friend… and hope you will never change.. 🙂 P.s. but sometimes you should give up the worries and let other people help you
I think we have all felt like that one way or another! Thanks for posting, really needed to read this!
This is SUCH a needed message these days! Some days it’s a lot… Life, that is. I will be checking them out for sure.
I think this is great. I think women put an astronomical amount of stress on themselves. We constantly second guess ourselves instead of just saying, “I’ve done my best, and it’s enough.”
While I totally agree with the message, I know that I often feel like I fall short. Great reminder that I don’t need perfection in my life.
That’s some hard core girl power. I love it! On a different note, you can’t second guess the past. It’s over and done. You can only do the best you can with what you have at the time.
My mom went through these same guilt issues having my youngest brother when she was in her mid 30s. She was an anti depressants and didn’t know she was pregnant. I won’t get into it but just know that it’s not your fault.
Sometimes I do feel like it doesn’t matter what I do or do not do that I am always disappointing someone, be it myself, my husband, or my family. But then I realize that I am just being too harsh on myself. All there is to it is to take a deep breath and give the best of you. The rest will simply fall into place. 🙂
My brother was ADD, ADHD, Dysgraphic and Dyslexic. And my mom did everything right. Don’t give yourself a hard time.
I saw this campaign go wild on social media during BlogHer and wondered where it started. Such a cool thing to get behind. I agree that I am enough of a wife, mom, daughter, sibling….all of it. I do my best at each role.
I think we’ve all felt not good enough at some point, but the fact is – we are. It’s just something we all need to take the time to realize.
I think every woman goes through those emotions. Not feeling good enough and feeling like she may have caused something that is a struggle with their child. I know I have. It is a very powerful message to realize that we ARE enough! And yet still very hard to accept at times.
Oh gosh, the guilt and what-ifs could really eat us alive! I love this, we really need to let it go and accept life for what it is!
Fantastic Post. So hard to remember sometimes you can not do all/ Just the best you can
Oh my goodness, sometimes I, too, get super-overwhelmed with life. I guess that is when we just need to step back and re-prioritize… ha! Thanks for the post
This is a great post. I think a lot of women can relate to this!
I am sure most of us can relate to it.
I try to do it all all the time… Just remember not to push it, we are all human and it will be ok.
I think every women has felt that they aren’t enough at some point in their lives. It is important to remember that you are enough for those that love you.
Sometimes it is easy to believe that I am not enough but when I really think about it I know I am.And no one is perfect we just have to try our best.Just by what you have said that you do for your kiddies you are a great mum do not stress about your to do list too much.